Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize