YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize