Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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