When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No subtext here. People are naked.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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