She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize