Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize