Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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