You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
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you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
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I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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