M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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