Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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