we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
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if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
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Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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