She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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