I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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