I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
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woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
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He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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