Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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