Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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