why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Did we literally take a cab across the street
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize