Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You ruined the universe
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize