PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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