Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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