oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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