Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
whose ass print is on the piano?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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