I think my vagina is haunted
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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