So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
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