Who did Billy Mays play for?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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