Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize