Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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