somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
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I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
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nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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