is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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