I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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