i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
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when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
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Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
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