I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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