The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize