I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize