You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I think I sprained my soul last night
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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