You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
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I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
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Sorry my hands just texted you
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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