I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize