haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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