we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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