dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize