I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize