my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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