Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize