Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize