i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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