Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I just gargled with NyQuil
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize