....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize