I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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