Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
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