The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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